Wednesday, December 29, 2010

An Open Letter To Boston Pizza

September 20th, 2008: my view at my bachelor party.
This was also the last time I ate a whole large Clubhouse by myself.
The discomfort was worth it.

Dear Boston Pizza,
How's it goin'? Okay, enough pleasantries...what's the deal with the Clubhouse pizza? Now, don't get it twisted...I LOVE that pizza, but why is not on the menu? Y'all are nice enough to keep making it, but why do I have feel like I'm politely asking for fellatio when I'm ordering it? Keep it on the damn menu!
I mean...are you ashamed of it? You shouldn't be! It's tasty. And dammit if it ain't unique! The contents of a clubhouse sandwich in pizza form! The secret lies in the tomato sauce...there isn't any! Mayo takes it place, and a single tomato slice tops each slice. That right there, is genius. But hey, I don't need to tell y'all that. You invented it!
The Clubhouse has a spot reserved in my heart – right beside my family and squirrels – but the only spot it really needs is within the menu. Make it happen. Thanks.

- Al

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